Every December, neatly wrapped gifts are quietly kept under the tree, tiny jewelry boxes are tucked away in Christmas socks, and shopping bags sit waiting to be opened.
These presents, for many couples, become less about the gift and more about what it says about their relationship.
While many of us romantically say, “it’s the thought that counts,” most of us know that’s only true when there actually is some thought involved.
For some couples, there could be silent messages hidden inside Christmas presents
Christmas presents can become emotional litmus tests in relationships, carrying clues about the emotional investment, effort, and the state of the relationship itself.
“Holiday gifts, for some, carry symbolic weight; They are seen as something so personal, special, something that is an investment (whether it be time or monetary value) that a person uses to showcase their love or admiration to another,” Alyssa Mairanz, owner and licensed clinician from Empower Your Mind Therapy, told Bored Panda.
“Because it’s an occasion that comes up just once a year, it becomes a moment to show your love – that you are listening and understand their interests, desires and put some deep thought and effort into buying the gift,” she added.
Christmas is a time when people generously open up their hearts and wallets, with American consumers spending an average of $902 on gifts and holiday items each Christmas, according to data from the National Retail Federation (NRF).
But that kind of spending puts pressure on what a gift should mean. Moreover, for the receiver, a gift could be enough to feel overlooked, unappreciated, or hurt.
Some gifts end up feeling thoughtless, last-minute or simply disappointing
In a survey of nearly 1,000 Americans conducted last year by DatingNews, 1 in 3 (37%) respondents said they feel gift-giving puts too much pressure on romantic relationships.
2 in 3 respondents said gift-giving reflects their feelings for their partner, and 65% think a present reflects how their partner feels about them.
Furthermore, 44% of the respondents reported being disappointed by a holiday gift from their significant other, with women (54%) experiencing disappointment more frequently than men (30%).
Not every disappointing present is automatically a red flag, even if it’s something last-minute, impersonal, or overly practical.
Alyssa clarified, “context is key” with every situation.
“For instance, when it comes to gifting something overy-practical, perhaps there was still quite a bit of thought and love that went into the gift and it was coming from a loving place,” she said.
“Such as a nice item for the kitchen in the new home you just purchased together and they know you love to cook.”
Expensive, flashy gifts aren’t always a sign of love and effort
On the other hand, when gifts feel rushed, impersonal, or as if zero effort was put into it, it may hint at something deeper.
“With last-minute or impersonal gifts, this can sometimes be caused by stress, avoidance, lack of or gaps in communication and mismatched expectations in the relationship,” the expert therapist said.
For a lot of people, gifts like shiny jewelry, luxury gadgets, or grand surprises are signs of love. But some experts believe these presents are distraction tactics.
An expensive gift is a cause for concern when it’s meant to push aside the conflict rather than actually repair it.
If a partner uses a flashy present like a “reset” button, instead of addressing the real problem, then it’s not romance. It’s avoidance rapped up in a ribbon.
“An expensive gift can signal trouble when it’s meant to compensate for unresolved conflict,” Ciara Bogdanovic, founder of Sagebrush Psychotherapy, told Bored Panda.
“Instead of engaging in communication, repair, or accountability, the gift is offered as a way to smooth things over without addressing the underlying issue,” she added.
Meaningful gifts come from listening, effort, and healthy communication
On the flip side, gift-giving in relationships can be a beautiful reminder of love, care and attention.
Healthy gifting could be a signal of genuine emotional investment and healthy communication for happy couples, especially when they put some emotional effort behind it.
“Asking someone about their preferences before the gift shows thoughtfulness and care,” Ciara said.
If opening up a present leads to the sting of disappointment, Alyssa suggested pausing to understand your feelings before reacting.
“It’s important to first take some time with your emotions. Why are you hurt or disappointed? Was it caused by a misunderstanding or another context? Is it about the actual gift or the meaning behind it?” she said.
“Explore your emotions around it before approaching the subject,” she added.
It’s possible to have a healthy conversation about a hurtful or disappointing gift
After giving yourself space to process the disappointment, how you choose to talk about it can make all the difference in whether the moment turns into conflict or makes way for a stronger connection.
“Try not to be accusatory, but keep it more conversational and focused on ‘I’ statements to highlight how it made you feel and why,” Alyssa said.
“You can also express gratitude for the gift or thoughts, while also being honest and open about your emotions,” she added. “That can be extremely difficult to do, but is an important part of a healthy relationship.”
If you’re looking for funny and relatable content, look no further! We’re delighted to share the latest comic strips by Mary Park, an artist based in Los Angeles better known on social media as Murzz. You might remember our previous posts featuring some of her earlier works—humorous comics that shed light on the challenges of womanhood and resonated deeply with a wide audience.
From navigating the quirks of daily life to hilariously capturing the ups and downs of long-term relationships, Murzz’s work brings humor to life’s most mundane yet relatable moments. Whether she’s poking fun at self-care routines gone awry or the trials of balancing love and life, her comics have garnered a loyal fanbase who connect with her sharp and witty observations.
We reached out to Mary to gain new insights into her creative process. Curious about how she would introduce her comic series to someone seeing it for the first time, we asked her to describe it in three words. Park responded: “Unserious, relatable, silly.”
If you’re eager to learn more about Murzz’s work, keep scrolling to read our full interview with the cartoonist!
Our next question delved into how Mary creates humor in her work. The cartoonist shared: “I think people have always been able to relate to the way I handle life’s challenges through humor. I just tell my story in my perspective and people have seemed to connect with me.”
Murzz also shared with us some insights about other comic artists whose work and style she admires: “When I was brainstorming Murrz, I wanted to tell my story in a style I loved growing up, inspired by shows like Crayon Shin-Chan, The Sound of Your Heart, and Hamtaro.”
Lastly, we asked Mary which specific strip she has created so far stands out as her personal favorite. She responded: “Yes, my personal favorite has been the one I drew about my parents’ journey as immigrants and in raising us in America.”
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~Stephen R. Covey
I used to think running a barbershop was all about haircuts, schedules, and keeping clients happy. I measured success by the number of chairs filled, how quickly we moved through the day, and whether everything ran smoothly. Efficiency felt like the most important thing.
Then one afternoon, a moment with a customer changed everything.
Mr. Hicks, a regular, came in looking unusually quiet. He slumped in my chair, barely making eye contact, and gave only short, mumbled answers when I tried to make small talk. Normally, I would have filled the silence, tried to keep him talking, or offered advice. But that day, I paused. I simply listened. I let him sit in silence as I worked, resisting the urge to speak unnecessarily or try to “fix” anything.
Minutes later, he began to share struggles he had been carrying for months—tensions at work, family challenges, the weight of constant exhaustion. By the time I finished his haircut, he looked lighter, calmer, almost relieved.
I realized I hadn’t needed to give advice. I hadn’t needed to solve his problems. I had only given him my attention. That day, I learned a lesson I carry with me every time I sit behind the barber chair: listening is a gift, patience is a practice, and presence can heal in ways words sometimes cannot.
This lesson didn’t just apply to Mr. Hicks. Over time, I began noticing similar moments with other clients, apprentices, and even friends and family.
A young apprentice, struggling to perfect his techniques, came in one morning looking defeated. Instead of correcting him immediately, I stepped back, watched, and let him try on his own. When he finally turned to me for guidance, the lesson became his own. The joy on his face was more rewarding than any praise I could have offered.
I’ve come to understand that patience isn’t just about waiting. It’s about presence. It’s about fully engaging in the moment, without rushing to the next task. In a barbershop, it’s easy to feel pressured—clients waiting, appointments lined up, every second seeming valuable. But slowing down and giving someone your full attention creates connection in a way speed never can.
One afternoon, I faced a particularly challenging situation. A client came in visibly frustrated and tense. Every suggestion I made seemed to irritate him further.
I could have taken offense or brushed him off, but I tried a different approach. I listened not just to his words but to the subtle cues: the tone of his voice, the tension in his shoulders, the hesitation in his movements.
Slowly, he began to relax, and by the time I finished, he was calmer, smiling, and expressing gratitude. That experience reinforced that sometimes, people need more than advice. They need acknowledgment and space to be heard.
I’ve also carried these lessons beyond the shop. With friends, family, and even strangers, I try to pause before responding, asking myself whether I am truly listening or just waiting to reply. I’ve noticed that when I give people room to share openly, relationships deepen and grow more authentic.
Running a barbershop has taught me humility. Not every story is easy to hear, and not every challenge can be solved with words or actions. But being present, patient, and genuinely attentive is a form of service that often matters more than technical skill. I’ve learned that my role isn’t always to fix problems but to create a safe space where people feel seen, understood, and valued.
There have been moments of personal growth too. Early on, I struggled with impatience, rushing through tasks, wanting instant results, and missing the subtle cues from those around me. By paying attention to the human side of my work, I’ve learned to slow down, notice details, and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. This patience has spilled over into other areas of my life—how I manage stress, handle conflict, and nurture relationships.
I’ve also discovered that listening can transform the listener as much as the speaker. Each story I hear challenges me to see the world from a different perspective. I’ve developed empathy I never knew I had, realizing that everyone carries burdens and struggles silently, searching for someone willing to simply acknowledge them. This awareness has made me more compassionate, not just in the shop, but in every interaction.
Sometimes, the lessons come in unexpected ways. I remember a shy teenager who came in for his first haircut. He was nervous, almost silent, and seemed unsure of how to interact. I spoke less, observed more, and let him get comfortable.
By the end of the session, he was laughing, joking, and sharing stories. That simple act of patience, giving him room to open up, reminded me that growth often happens quietly, in small, unassuming moments.
Through all of this, I’ve realized that patience and listening are not passive acts. They are active choices we make every day. They require mindfulness, attention, and the willingness to put another person’s experience before our own need to act or respond. Running a barbershop taught me that these choices, repeated over time, build trust, deepen relationships, and foster genuine human connection.
If there’s one takeaway I can share, it’s this: slow down, be present, and listen. Whether in a barber’s chair, a living room, or a workplace, giving someone your full attention is a rare and valuable gift.
You don’t need special training or expertise, just the willingness to be patient, notice, and understand. The lessons you learn, and the growth you experience, will stay with you long after the conversation ends.
Timothy Warden is a barbershop owner in Stafford who believes haircuts are only part of the story. Listening and presence are just as important. Through his work and daily interactions, he writes about personal growth, mindfulness, and human connection, sharing lessons learned from the barber chair and beyond. Visit his site at numberonebarbershoptx.com.
If you leave a person in a bubble of constant privilege for too long, the normal boundaries the rest of us live by start to disappear, and entitlement can quickly take their place.
There is always that one customer who demands royal treatment, a neighbor who ignores rules or even some family members who act like everyone else exists to serve their needs.
And we are all familiar with stories of certain celebrities going above and beyond, showing that entitlement can reach truly ridiculous levels.
While karma does catch up with a few of them, most people go through life completely scot-free, floating along in their own little bubble.
When the Reddit community was asked, “What’s the worst level of entitlement you’ve ever seen?”, it unmasked some people at their most narcissistic and oblivious.
Parents traveling with young kids often assume other passengers should move so they can sit together. I’m not handing over the premium seat I paid for to sit in a cramped economy spot instead.
Buying a cup of tea at the library a few years for 90p (those were the days), the girl serving took my £1 coin, shut the till and said my tea would be ready shortly.
When I asked for my change, she moodily opened the till again to get it, and as she handed it over said “Oh yes, 10p?”
Obvs it’s about the principle not the amount, although I was unemployed and pretty broke at the time. No way I was letting her decide to just keep my money like that.
While consumerism and capitalism play a major role in how we see ourselves, entitlement is also shaped by social media, mainstream cultural messages, and technology. All of this makes it easier than ever to assume the world will bend to our desires and needs.
Studies in psychology note that these trends are shifting our priorities: people are more focused on their own rights and comfort than on responsibility towards others.
“If people feel they are entitled to consume, they see consuming as an expected reward for behaving in a certain way,” writes Sue LT McGregor of Canada’s Mount Saint Vincent University in her 2022 study.
#4
I was placing asphalt at this medical school and I see this petty young lady is wearing these fancy flip-flops, “Excuse me miss you don’t want to walk on that asphalt its 325 degrees.” And with utter contempt she said “Excuse you, Im going to ba a DOCTOR!” She charges past me, almost get run over by the roller, realizes it ITS HOT owowowowow and then walked right on to the fresh tack (gooey sticky tar that binds the layers together) looses a flip flop, trips and glares at me with scapels for eyes. I had to walk away cause it was too funny.
Apparently she complained cause some big wig came down an hour later, superintendent told him off, we are not responsible for idiots who ignore warnings not to be stupid.
A coworker of mine threw a fit because I won a large glass jar of gummy candies and she demanded to our director that it needed to either be in the break room for communal snacking or given to her because “I don’t have a family and don’t understand what struggling was”.
My dad got a new coworker who was also new in town, so my parents invited him and his wife over for dinner one night. Dinner included fresh vegetables from my mom’s vegetable garden. My mom also gave them some extra tomatoes and zucchini to take home.
A few days later, my mom was washing dishes and looked out the window to see the wife crouching in her vegetable garden, stealing as many veggies as she could fit into her bags, including things my mom had plans for and was not planning to give away. She had scaled the fence to get inside.
I once had a lady try to walk onto the main stage at Coachella 2019 during a set. I politely told her she was not allowed and she told me she was a VIP and that I didn’t know who she was.
I told her only people with higher access were able to go on stage, and she asked, “oh yeah, like who?”
Entitlement shows up in a lot of places — in viral videos of shoppers yelling at retail workers, travelers demanding airline perks they haven’t paid for, like a window seat, or people cutting lines just because they feel they can.
Scholars agree that entitlement is traditionally a “maladaptive trait” that leads to narcissism, conflicts with others, and affects overall mental health.
This can happen because entitled people might tend to lash out or get frustrated when things do not go their way. It can ultimately put a strain on relationships and their overall environment.
#8
Worked with a woman who was flying with a bunch of our coworkers. She was worried that a connecting flight would get diverted due to weather. She, just her, decided to go to the desk and demand that they change her flight.
The original flight landed in time, everyone else boarded and she demanded to get her old seat back on the original flight. “It’s only been 30 minutes, why can’t I have it back”
She’s retelling me this and acting like she’s the victim. She just couldn’t comprehend that the flight was full. Her seat was given away to someone on standby. And the flight she changed to would be there in 30 minutes.
I worked at a high end car dealership. A woman (50’s) purchased a car, then called 4-5 days later and said “the car just stopped” on the freeway. We sent a tow truck and discovered she’d run out of gas. She wanted the dealership to waive the tow bill because her salesman failed to tell her she’d have to put fuel in the car.
The Edward Jones financial advisor that parked in handicapped parking every day for 3 years until she finally got a $500 ticket! She tried to force the property owners to pay for it since they knew she was using that space and never said anything to her about moving.
When I was a kid, my parents were friends with another couple. They had met through church and eventually hired the husband (his company) to build our house. They were friends ever since.
Once the housing market wasn’t doing too well, the husband ended up making a prayer request in church. Tearfully, he told everyone they were on the verge of losing their house because he couldn’t find enough work to pay the bills. My parents ended up inviting them over for dinner and then afterwards, presented them with a check. I have no idea how much it was, but it was enough to save their house. I remember them both sobbing in our kitchen.
That was to be the end of it, but the next week we went to church, things took a turn. People were whispering and staring at us. Eventually, someone took my parents to the side and explained what was going on. This couple had been going up to our mutal friends, asking for their “advice”.
They told everyone that my parents had given them money to save their home but upon reflection, realized that this amount of money could fund their dream vacation to Las Vegas. They were asking people if they should use the money as intended, or if they should go on their once-in-a-lifetime dream trip and gamble it, accepting, of course, that this would likely end the friendship.
I’m not sure if they thought people would be on their side or what, but everyone was pretty appalled. It ended the friendship instantly and they never spoke again. Even as a kid it was absurd to me that they would make the choices they did.
Contrary to what the entitled might want to achieve, they are often far from the happiest.
Experts believe that life rarely hands out everything we feel we deserve, and those with a strong sense of entitlement can be left feeling disappointed.
“When people think that they should have everything they want — often for nothing — it comes at the cost of relationships with others and, ultimately, their own happiness,” Julie Exline, co-author of a study on entitlement, was quoted as saying in a press release.
#12
In my personal life, my ex mother in law raging that her ex husband (divorced for over 20 years) didn’t take her on vacation with him and his current fiance because “they were married once so she deserves to go just as much as her”.
I was a chauffeur and I was driving the nanny and three children to a destination where the parents will end up. They all had iPads with AirPods. While loading, one of children got upset and tossed his iPad on the ground. The nanny didn’t say anything just picked up the broken iPad and went inside. She came out with a brand new one and handed it to the child. Nothing was said.
I was on the bus. A guy sneaks in the back door of the bus and the drivers sees him. He starts yelling at the guy to pay the fare or get off the bus. The guy is yelling back at the driver, “You will talk to me with respect! Don’t you try to disrespect me!” This thief that got caught trying to steal a bus ride actually thought he deserved respect for stealing and delaying all the fare paying passengers. Apparently, he never learned that respect is earned. I wish I could say I was surprised.
Entitlement is not always personal; it can also be socially reinforced.
Studies show that wealth and privilege lead to higher feelings of entitlement and even narcissism. This may be because their position makes special treatment seem normal or even expected.
It is no wonder we see so many stories of celebrities acting like they own the world — from James Corden being banned from a New York restaurant for yelling at the staff over an omelet, to Kendall Jenner and Hailey Bieber being accused of illegally using disabled parking spaces.
Because when privilege goes unchecked, it is easy to see how entitlement can reach absurd levels.
#16
Oh that would be my ex.
She didn’t like her college room so she somehow got her family to get her a music scholar’s room which was about 1000sqft and had a grand piano in it.
She didn’t play the piano. Some talented musician got looked over for this exclusive room.
Worked with a guy who came to work 10 to 15 minutes late every single day and pretended like it was no big deal. We work in a hospital. You cannot leave your shift until you give report to the next shift so essentially he was forcing his coworkers to stay late every single day until he showed up.
He was called out on it by his coworkers and he would just scarf and say “it’s 10 minutes you guys are overreacting!”. It took reporting him to the management a dozen times before they finally said something to him. He got written up, and was good for a couple of weeks, but then started doing it again. He was written up again. Eventually, I guess he figured it wasn’t worth the hassle and he left to go work in a nursing home.
My neighbour thinks because she owns her home she, and her family, and extended family, can do whatever they want. First day they took possession of the house, her brother did a burnout down our freshly paved street. Instead of apologizing when people were like w*f, her dad tried to fight the annoyed neighbours instead. It did not improve after that.
They cut our internet line when they were planting a cedar hedge, when I went outside to be like did you just cut my line he just shrugged and didn’t even apologize.
Also, her husband’s truck is so loud it rumbles my house when he starts it. So are all his friends.
One time when I asked them to turn their music down, not off, just down, because it kept waking my baby up, they told us to close our window and proceeded to be louder. And honk their horns in the driveway. (Should also be noted they also had a baby, which apparently wasn’t home that night. They don’t do that when their baby is home, I wonder why. Guess only her baby gets to sleep.)
But according to her I’m just miserable and don’t want her to enjoy her home.
I’m a teacher. Last year, we had a mom request that we completely change our big end of year field trip because her child had already been to the location and she wanted him to experience something new. This request was made 3 days before the trip.
American Lady in Ireland insisting the Subway queue begins from where she stands (collection side). Literally insisting. Everyone ignored her. She caught up eventually.
I don’t know if these are the absolute worst, but they’re the first two things I thought of.
One time I was in the TSA line, and there were a few guys in business suits waiting behind me. I think a machine went down or something, because we were standing there for quite some time. One of the guys behind me started getting aggravated and yelled at one of the TSA agents asking what the problem was. “We’re first class!!” I heard him say. He really thought his first class ticket made him more important or something.
The second situation was with my mom. She and I were talking about her ex boyfriend who’d just passed away. They were together for a couple years at most, and they split probably three years before he passed. We then got on the subject of life insurance, and she felt like she was entitled to some of his life insurance. They had been split for years, never married, and never even lived together. Why would he put her on his life insurance? That one still boggles my mind.
There was a real estate agent in town who took a couple to view a house for sale.
While doing the showing, the potential buyers noticed a fruit tree. They asked if they could have some, of the real estate agent, who agreed. They picked the tree clean and left.
Just straight up stole all the fruit from someone’s tree.
I caught my ex trying to steal from me by impersonating me. Instead of offering a defense or even an excuse, she just doubled down and asked me to give her what she wanted.
Sharon Osbourne was on WILTY telling the story of how during her house fire she yanked the oxygen mask from one of her employees being seen to by an EMT and screeched”You work for me, now get back in there and save more paintings.”.
I was a TA, a student showed up 48 hours after an essay was due and handed it to me, asked me to get it to the prof. I was like “uhhh…this is Thursday TA office hours, this was due Tuesday in class or emailed”. She went on a weird ramble about how when she showed up to the prof’s office to submit it he wasn’t there, which makes sense because he was in class, teaching. She was genuinely upset when I told her a two-day late submission has to go through the prof, not me.
My dad’s got some serious narcissistic tendencies. About 6 years ago, his house caught on fire. After everyone and the pets were safely outside, he spent so much time trying to tell the firemen had to do their job that one of them snapped at him. He told my dad that they could just leave and let the house burn.
Imagine how much of an irrational control freak someone has to be, to make someone as heroic as a fireman snap like that. I know that some people just aren’t good in a crisis, but he really is just like that
It really is interesting to see how narcissism can run in families, from both nurture and nature. I’ve got several stories like that, from several different family members and who they’re attracted to.
Was on a very, very, small, tourist island and during breakfast I noticed the entire balcony area was roped off (would sit there for morning whale watching) and there was two tables, one with three adults and one with a nannies (plural) and kids. The kids were ferals, throwing things on the floor, smearing stuff all over the table, and the nanny cleaned up as best they could but did not discipline the children. Later we were told that all the boats were on private charter and no one could go out on a boat, but we’re divers who prepaid/chartered our dives so told them we would take a boat of our choice if they didnt do better and get us a boat. They found a boat but we went to a different side of the island and that days snorkling group was cancelled but again, we’re divers with our own gear which means our non diving family had their own fins and masks etc so our people went snorkling anyway
Found out later that this was a Saudi prince level family who was upset that we were on their island for their 2 day stay. They didnt even want us in the ocean on the day they were doing their tour and glass bottom trips. I guess they couldnt have us peasants in the ocean the same time they were.
Had a friend in college whose mother lived 4 hours away from our student housing. Friend refused to do any housework or laundry or take plates/garbage out of her room. Instead she made her mom drive 4 hours and come clean her room when enough of us complained. Her mom didn’t bother to teach her daughter how to do anything herself. Her mom gladly did it unfortunately.
One time she did ask me to show her how to do laundry because her mom was really sick and couldn’t drive over one month. But next month was right back to summoning her servant-mother.
Someone jumped the queue at the airport today right in front of my mate at an E-Gate. Funny though because he got stuck in the gate and my mate cleared before him after using one next to it.
The patient who came in today, December 9th in the year of our Lord 2025, and wanted all his dental work done before the end of the year as if he is the only patient our clinic has.
A former friend, “L,” was attending nursing school in the early ’90s. Her classmate B came across a used anatomy textbook at the bookstore—something unusual, since nursing students typically held on to theirs. L became upset and insisted that B shouldn’t have bought the book, arguing that she deserved it more because she was paying for school entirely on her own without any help from her parents.
The memory that just popped into my head was of the time I saw a well-dressed young woman on the sidewalk next to a restaurant that had some outdoor seating. She was chatting with a couple of other young women. The cafe was pretty fancy and the tables were already set for dining. This young woman wasn’t even a customer. She idly reached over, took the linen napkin from one of the silverware settings, and blew her nose in it.
My mother. My Stepdad had been suffering from prostate cancer for 14 years, he went downhill quickly & passed away. My mother had sold her house & bought into his. So they owned half each. When he passed, his half was left to his two kids. She was furious he didn’t leave his half to her, citing that he’d already given his children plenty of money. They’d already lost their mother to cancer too. Plenty more stories like that about her! None of us speak to her.
Most recent is a guy who came and set up to paint in my driveway. Brought his easel and paints and canvas and took up residence there very close to the house.
I worked at this retirement home and there’s this employee who was always having multiple complaints about her performance, being lazy, not wanting to do this, crying about not getting her way, NOTHING! Despite all of this, she’s never been fired, written or anything. In fact, she’s received employee of the month and received recognition.
A friend i had couldn’t comprehend what i meant when I said I couldn’t afford something. They looked so baffled and asked why I didnt just go get money for it. Oh trust fund babies.
I’m sure there’s been worse, but it happened directly to me and I remember it vividly. In university I had a part time job in the cafeteria cooking and serving students from the residences. Lot of rich kids at this school. I had a girl tell me to go to that fridge (she pointed) and get me some fresh tomatoes from a new container (of sliced tomatoes). We already had tomatoes on display with other available condiments, but those ones weren’t good enough evidently. I remember I kind of cackled when she said it because I was so shocked by it I thought she was joking. She wasn’t and complained to the manager about my attitude. Fortunately, I was a decent employee and had a good relationship with the other staff and manager so nothing came of it. I still remember that from time to time and it’s been nearly 20 years.
General managers bringing their own people like boyfriend and friends. Sometimes they don’t know what their doing and feel they can do anything because they know/related to the general manager.
I manage a “contact us” email address for a multi-billion market cap company, and we get people emailing all the time saying they have ideas to share with our CEO and asking to set some time. Or complaining about something and demanding we reverse our decision because they said so. Yes, we’ll get your appointment set with the CEO immediately, random stranger.
So basically me and my partner also working at the same company did a technician course for some work equipment. The company paid the course (around 100$ only) without discussing it with us and we took it as a nice gesture. Well the nice gesture made our boss think he can now text us 24/7 asking us to come in UNPAID!!! After our 6-12h workday. He then consequently would get upset if we wouldn’t then proceed to come to the office at 11pm. We kind of tolerated it due to a in general incredibly toxic work environment and him destroying our confidence through mean speeches. After about a year I had enough especially seeing how my partner but also other staff was treated. I had a supervisor role at the time and was a little bit less in the canon fire than the rest of the team. We approached him after a team meeting about being paid for the extra work and he completely lost it. Asked me for passwords the next day and fired me 3 weeks later for being “negative”.
Worked with a Paramedic until I transitioned to a corporate role with the Ambulance Service. Not long after the Paramedic I worked with wanted to do a transfer with someone else – I didn’t have consent from the other person, however, this particular Paramedic responded with “I don’t care about consent, force the other Paramedic to do the transfer with me before I force him to do it, I don’t need his consent”.
Worked at a hotel and this couple was complaining that our bartender wasnt making the drinks strong enough (he was following state issued rules). They said ‘hes nice, but we just wanted a little more!” well my boss requested that he get to handle it
So they told their story and ended it with “we can stay anywhere in town! but we stay here because of the location and the staff!”
Boss kinda nods along and says “well thats not true, i know for a fact that we banned from the Umstead, and are also banned at the Downtown Marriott, and the full service marriott 2 exits down”
They look surprised and say “oh yea!!!! we remember you!! yknow, they called us last month and said you were fired and requested we come back! Clearly we should take them up on the offer”
Boss nods and says “well thats not true, but by all means!” They then change the story and say ‘we are unpacked, and we paid in cash so we cant just leave suddenly”
Boss asks them to wait a moment, goes to the safe and gets their cash and then comes back to the desk and hands them a wad of cash and signals the bellman and says “well, here is your money and here is brian to help you with your things” Then they threw a fit about THAT.
My cousin. After my mother found out that he had spent $100 (OF HER MONEY) at the dispensary when he’d been going in for a 5 for $20 deal, when she confronted him about it he actually said “it sounds like you want me to say sorry, but I’m not. I’m not to blame because you didn’t ask.”.
My younger sister wanted my nose and begged for it, when she was 17, suddenly it didn’t “fit her face” and she had a second rhinoplasty. I emancipated myself at 16, the year she had her first. My family was poor, btw.
My son. Who’s literally in the middle of his punishment for poor behaviour and he had the audacity to ask me what we’re getting him for Christmas this year.
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne
Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking.
My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection.
More and more people are finding themselves in the single life—not because they joyfully signed up for it, but because they’ve quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody’s talking about it.
I have no interest in bashing men—I love them. And I’m not here to shame relationships—I’d still love to experience conscious partnership or marriage one day. But what I am here for is giving a voice to the other side: the reality of singlehood. A reality that has been shamed, underrepresented, and spoken over for lifetimes.
Yes, humans of all kinds fear being single. I happen to live it in the skin of a woman, but the fear itself is cultural, primal, and deeply conditioned.
Not a Witch, Not a Spinster, Not a Divorcee
The stigma of singlehood is sticky and insidious. It convinces people to stay in relationships they’ve outgrown because it’s “better than the alternative.” It whispers that you’re not enough without a partner. And the biggest problem? We have so few role models of people living single, fulfilled lives.
I’m not a witch. I’m not a spinster. And I’m not divorced.
Funny story—when I was once applying for a work visa abroad, the form asked me to declare my relationship status. The options? Married. Divorced. Spinster. That was it. Guess which box I had to begrudgingly tick? I still laugh about it, but it says everything: if you’re not partnered, you must be a problem to categorize.
It’s in Our Bones
The roots of this run deep. For most of history, women’s survival was directly tied to men—financially, socially, legally. That dependency shaped generations of cultural messaging we all still carry in our bones, regardless of gender. We’ve been taught that wholeness comes from someone else.
For anyone who has spent long stretches of life single, there’s a peculiar kind of grief that shadows us, not for something lost, but for something never felt. We grieve the idea of intimacy we were promised, the mythical “other half” we were told to need. It’s less about absence and more about a haunting—mourning the story we’ve been handed rather than our own lived truth.
Maybe Disney messed us up. Maybe it was Jerry Maguire’s iconic “you complete me.” But the truth is, our obsession with relationships is far older than pop culture. It’s centuries old. And it’s led so many of us on a quest for “another” long before we’ve gone on the quest for ourselves.
And now? The dating industry has taken that centuries-old conditioning and turned it into a multi-million-dollar business model.
It shows up in quiet moments, like the friend fresh out of a twenty-year relationship who whispers, “What if I never find someone else?” as if that’s the worst fate imaginable.
Legacy, Good Girl, and the Seventh-Grade Soothsayer
We may have moved beyond needing a partner for a bank account or a roof over our heads, but inside many of us lives a whole cast of characters who haven’t gotten the memo.
In my case, they look like this:
The legacy-burdened one—the part that still believes worth is sealed only once I’m chosen.
The good girl, who doesn’t want to disappoint the family, who smiles politely when someone says, “You’ll find someone soon.”
The people pleaser who wonders if they should tone themselves down to be “more dateable.”
And the inner child who still remembers the sting of being told in seventh grade, “You’ll never have a boyfriend” and worries, even now, that maybe it was a prophecy.
Different faces. Same message: You’re not enough on your own.
Swiping Right on Your Insecurities
The modern dating industry has taken this centuries-old programming and turned it into a goldmine. Apps, relationship coaches, matchmaking services, and self-help books all thrive on making your relationship status yet another problem to be solved.
Not long ago, I was on a twenty-four-hour road trip listening to yet another relationship self-help book. This one at least was about “becoming the one,” but even then, the end goal was still to get the partner. Where are the books about deepening your relationship with yourself, not as a prelude to love, but simply to live your damn best life?
And can we please stop acting like every contrived meeting arranged on an app is a “date”? We used to meet organically in coffee shops or elevators; now we swipe because we’re too afraid to make eye contact in real life.
The funniest part? Friends in relationships often get more excited about my first meets than I do—as if I’m finally about to be rescued from the great tragedy of my singlehood.
Love, Yes; Panic, No
Biology matters. We are wired for connection. We crave intimacy and belonging. This is not about pretending otherwise.
What I’m talking about here is the fear of being single—the panic that drives bad decisions, keeps us in misaligned relationships, and has an entire industry profiting off our insecurities.
Rather than pouring all that longing into loving and being loved by one person, we could simply be… loving. Period. Creating a more compassionate relationship with ourselves. Spreading kindness. Offering to everyone the kind of love that heals the world. Because when we’re busy running from the fear that something is inherently wrong with us, we miss our greatest capacity—to love, in every direction.
The Gift of Being Unpartnered
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: I can literally do anything I want.
If there are socks on the floor, they’re mine.
If the yogurt is gone, I ate it.
I can book a trip on a whim, sleep diagonally, and never negotiate over the thermostat. Netflix isn’t infiltrated with someone else’s questionable taste, and no one wakes me up in my sleep—except my dog.
If I’m honest, my unfiltered fear about being single forever isn’t loneliness. It’s choking on a piece of toast and no one finding me. Or never experiencing the kind of deep intimacy and vulnerability I still hope for.
But here’s the freedom side: I’ve gotten to know myself in a way I never could have if I’d always been in a relationship. I’ve formed an identity that’s mine—unshaped by a partner’s wants or habits. And I want anyone living single to know this is not a consolation prize. This is one valid, powerful way to live. You haven’t failed. Your worth is not measured in anniversaries.
For me, soulmates show up in friendship as much as romance. My best friend and I joke we’ll probably live side by side when we’re old. Deep connection isn’t confined to coupledom, and that truth is liberating.
Single By Trust, Not Default
Seeing singlehood as a radical act of self-trust in a culture obsessed with coupling is… well, radical. And honestly, it’s 2025. We’ve accepted gender fluidity. Sexuality can be expressed on any spectrum you choose. So why are we still categorizing people by relationship status? Why is this still the metric we use to size up someone’s life?
And this isn’t about some performative empowerment—people determined to prove they’re so strong, so independent, so “I don’t need anyone.” That’s still a posture that defines itself in relation to others. What I’m talking about is living fully for yourself, without apology, without your relationship status being a headline of your life.
So maybe the real question isn’t “Will I end up alone?” but “Who can I be if I’m not waiting to be chosen?”
And if you need me, I’ll be training for my next big adventure: walking the Camino trail in Portugal next summer—a pilgrimage powered entirely by my own two feet, my own heart, and absolutely no plus-one required.
Andrea Tessier is a master life coach and Level 2 Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner who helps ambitious, growth-oriented women build self-trust, release perfectionism, and step into authentic leadership. With over six years of experience blending psychology and spirituality, she guides clients to reconnect with their true Self and live with clarity, peace, and wholeness. Download her free Self Trust Starter Kit.
Relationships—we’ve all been there. To some degree, anyway. And though it’s to some extent rainbows and butterflies, romance and all that good stuff, it’s also in part being dumb and making mistakes ‘cause we’re all human and relationships are hard, man!
Well, former journalist Christie Smythe’s recently confessed her love for Martin Shkreli, former hedge fund manager and now convicted felon—securities fraud and racking up HIV meds’ prices by 5,000%—explaining how she left her own husband for Shkreli, quit her job, and even froze her eggs for him.
This prompted one Twitter user to ask people what are some of the most embarrassing things they have done in their relationships with not-so-good significant others, and a good number of people responded with some of their craziest stories.
Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the best responses, which you can scroll through and vote on below. And while you’re down there, why not let us know what you thought of them in comment form!
We love to talk about the beginning of a relationship. Who had the funnier profile on Tinder, where the first date was, and what it was like to meet the parents. But the end matters, too, as it can also be better or worse — while some breakups are accompanied by tears and hugs and goodbyes, others are a lot more… eventful. To show how far we can go to get even, we put together a list of stories we found on the internet about the revenge people took against their exes. Oof!
Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.
#1
Okay, this is going to sound cruel, but hear me out. After he cheated, I was in a rage and was going to throw all his belongings from my place in the garbage. My friend encouraged me to set them on fire, but I had a better idea. I live in a city where he also lives and works within the same few blocks. A lot of the homeless folks are familiar and tend to stick around their common areas of our blocks.
I took all of his clothes and sneakers, and things, and put them in a box near my alley where the homeless folks hang out, wrote a sign saying take what you’d like. So the folks got a whole new nice wardrobe and are rocking his clothes he would recognize when he’s walking around work/home. I never spoke to him after the breakup, but I did see the people wearing his jackets and sneakers mostly. I feel like I did a good deed because those people got some nice, expensive clothes to keep warm and feel good! And it gives me satisfaction imagining him realizing these people are all wearing his favorite stuff.
Ex was a “vinyl DJ”. After he basically treated me really badly one night and we had a huge argument, I got up during the night and took out the vinyls and put them in the wrong sleeves. He had a fair few hundred. Took me ages. I then packed my little overnight bag I kept at his, and left. He was supposed to play a gig the next day. I heard he was raging.
He cheated and knocked the woman up. A couple of weeks later, I was drunk shopping with a friend, and we ran into his mother and sister. I congratulated them. They asked what for? and I said, “The baby!” His sister was shocked. His mom thought something was up because he had made some strange comments. When he found out they had heard his news from me, he was livid! Omg, it was great.
My then BF had a favorite T-shirt that he had bought overseas years ago. That shirt was wearing out, and although he had looked high and low for years, he was never able to find the shirt again. He loved that shirt. I mean, loved.
His birthday was coming up. I used to be a graphic designer, so I easily reproduced that beloved shirt and had a few made up in multiple colors for him, and one for me. Then I found out that he was cheating, and we broke up. I started dating someone soon after.
Being petty about what happened, I gifted one of those T-shirts I made to my new guy, telling him the story. We took a photo together of both of us wearing the shirts and posted it on social media. The ex saw the post of us in the shirts and freaked. He contacted me asking me where I found the shirts. I told them that I had made them for his birthday, too bad, so sad, but other than gifting one to my new BF, I had since given all of the rest of them to Goodwill. He was absolutely furious. I thought he might cry. So petty. So worth it.
My sister told an ex that no one would marry him because no one would put up with his [nonsense]. She recently got an invite in the mail to his wedding; he had written something like “You were wrong” on it. She RSVPed yes. When he got the reply card, he texted her frantically asking her if she was serious because he didn’t intend for her to go (and his soon-to-be-wife didn’t know he had invited my sister). She said of course and then said she was going to wear white. He’s been texting her every few days begging her not to go so he doesn’t have to explain himself.
Don’t get into a petty war with my sister. Nothing is beneath her.
My ex cheated on me. I turned his best friend against him simply by telling him everything he did. It wasn’t nuclear in intention, but he lost his entire friend group over it. And props to his best friend and all his other friends who actually refused to tolerate how he treated his girlfriends.
Went through his Netflix continue watching section and changed all his shows to the last episode of the last season, so that he lost track of his shows and hopefully had something spoiled for him.
My first boyfriend. He went from calling me every night to completely ghosting me out of nowhere with no explanation. It left teenage me devastated. He reached out, out of the blue, a couple years later. He tried pretending as if we just had a falling out and said he missed me and wanted to meet up. So I humored him, let him get all excited for a date, we agreed on a time and place, he texted me that he was there, and then I ghosted him and never replied back.
Found out boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me again, after he swore the first time was isolated and “it would never happen again.” (I was so stupid for taking him back). I didn’t let on that I knew about the other woman.
I planned a fake, “all expense paid” trip to Hawaii a few weeks in advance. He hadn’t had a vacation in many years, so he was super excited. Got his input on hotels, excursions, etc. He arranged the time off work and was all set. Two days before we were supposed to leave, I sent him an explosive text that I knew about Sheri, and the joke’s on him. He was seething, and I loved the thought of him being so sucked in by the excitement of the fake trip and then devastation. That was 20 years ago, I’m in my 50s now, and I still don’t regret doing that.
He dumped me and moved out. He came back a week later for his things. He was moving in with the girl he had been zooming with while we were together. I happily pushed all his [things] into his trunk and then told him I had given his dog away.
Please note. He had acquired this Golden retriever 3 months before. Never walked her, taken her to a vet, or cleaned up a single one of her messes. I was moving out of state and found her a good home that would actually care for her. He was p****d but couldn’t really say anything.
My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS, but anyway, I still have the login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters”. Petty, but it makes me laugh.
Additional info. I also set the show to be manually erased and stop recording 3 hours after the show’s end time.
She was having an affair with her boss. I sent an anonymous email to his manager that I already knew didn’t like him, with proof, making it sound like it was from someone within the company. They both ended up getting fired.
I stole his last bottle of this special imported hot sauce that he had his parents ship him internationally. He put it on everything, and he presumably had to wait a minimum of two months to get a replacement.
He cheated on my birthday and left me at home while he was out trying to meet up with someone. This was after I moved to his country to be with him. I then cut holes in the armpits of all his work shirts, and to give him false hope of ones left untouched, I sneakily sprayed bleach in hidden spots. I then took all the groceries and toiletries I had purchased since he refused to go 50/50 on household items, even though I paid half the rent and car, while making way less. Getting a text a few days later saying “You took all the toilet paper?!!” still has me cackling like Yzma.
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years and never suspected a thing. I fell out of love and eventually broke up with him, and it was pretty amicable. A couple of months later, a girl messaged me on Instagram asking if I dated my ex. I said yes, but we were broken up recently. She lets me know she slept with him for 2 years, to my shock, and so we meet up. She shows me the texts and photos. Luckily, because I fell out of love and wasn’t upset, but she liked him a lot and felt betrayed. He lied about his name, age, job, and identity to fool her (I knew his family well and knew his real identity). We both decide to show up at his apartment and confront him. He was so shocked and tried to explain, but it was too late.
My petty revenge included creating a group chat with him, his mum, and dad, and me, called it ‘cheater’, and sent a paragraph explaining what he did to me right in front of him. I then paid for an anonymous text message service to his number pretending to be the NHS, and that his recent test showed he had a range of STDs. Felt pretty good.
I found out my husband had been carrying on with his coworker for years. I had her street address because of Christmas cards. I sent her an anonymous glitter bomb for Christmas that year. He and I are divorcing. I’m sure she knew who it was from, but I never actually heard about it.
When I broke up with my ex told him to come back in 2 weeks to get the balance of his things. He got [mad] and said he was moving then. So he packed everything in his and his sister’s car when she showed up. Then he left. What he did not know was that I had taken the house key off his keychain. He came back later, trying to get in. But the key did not work, and I disabled the garage door. He had planned this for weeks and wanted me out of the house. It has been 15 years.
When me and my ex-fiancé were having a bunch of arguments after we broke up, I got tired of her constantly texting me about nonsense, so I called -insert phone carrier- to have them cut off service to her phone that I paid for in the middle of an argument.
Found out my “boyfriend” was cheating on me. I was the other woman, lol. He had a girlfriend of 2-3 years. He told me she found out and is mad, but she isn’t breaking up with him, so it’s okay if we keep seeing each other, because he can’t stay away from me. He asked me to go on a date with him.
We went to the zoo. He paid. I told him I wanted all the upgrades. Feeding the animals, the little zoo movie theaters, the novelty cups, everything. It ended up being like $200. Then we got dinner. Ordered the most expensive thing. Said I didn’t like it, so I ordered something else. He paid. $200. Then we went shopping. I wanted “matching shoes because it’s so cute” he paid. $250. The whole night cost about $700-800. He dropped me off, and I blocked him. He’s tried to reach out to me on various social media. As far as I know, they recently got married.
My ex cheated on me, with my best friend, no less, then dumped me and moved out.
She unfortunately forgot to download the latest version of her almost completed Master’s thesis, which included a GB of assorted pictures, necessary PDFs, and materials, from my laptop.
I emptied a whole litter tray, full of sodden, stinking, dirty cat litter, all over the inside of the cheating [j**k’s] car. It was everywhere. Can only imagine how hard that was to clean up.
My ex and I were both petty after our breakup. He mailed back every photo he had of me, and I recycled all his love letters because he didn’t believe in recycling.
I may have cleaned the toilet with her toothbrush multiple times after I found out I was being cheated on the whole time we were together. Crazy how common cheating is.
I convinced my [toxic] ex-boyfriend that I was [gone] by telling him that I had bronchitis and pneumonia (true) and then blocking him on Facebook/not responding to his text messages, etc.
It was probably one of the best pranks I have ever played in my life. I saw him 2 years later at a Christmas party. The look on his face was amazing, because it isn’t like he could say anything.
My gf left me for another man, one month later she hits me up, and one thing leads to another, and we end up hooking up. I eventually ended up sending her new bf proof through texts. She blocked me immediately on everything. Thought it would make me feel better, but it left me even more heartbroken. Such a messy breakup.
I️ got cheated on and the guy went ahead and got engaged to the girl he cheated on me with three weeks after I️ found so I️ faked a pregnancy just to ruin their happy special time and she freaked out horribly and everyone called my phone calling me names (his best friend, his own mother) but I’m like oh…it’s okay if he cheats on me and goes on and has a happy little life while he leaves me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart? Oh no…oh no no no, not on my watch! I️ changed my number after that.
When I realized I was getting divorced, I suddenly became very interested in baking brownies, cookies, and cakes “for my son” but actually to make my ex fat.
I was cheated on by my high-school sweetheart during our 1st year of uni (3-year relationship). We split up, but I persuaded her to get back together to give it another try and make up for the lost trust. When we got back together, I cheated on her in the same circumstances just so she knew how it felt. She was devastated. It was my plan all along to give her a dose of her own medicine. Years later, I do regret it, but at the time, it was “the perfect plan”.
“The strongest people are the ones who are still kind after the world tore them apart.” ~Raven Emotion
A few months ago, I stopped being friends with my best friend from childhood, whom I had always considered like my brother.
It was a tough decision, but I had to make it.
In the past five years, my friend (let’s call him Andy) had become increasingly rude and dismissive toward my feelings.
Not a single week went by without him criticizing me for being optimistic and for never giving up despite being a “failure.”
Still, I tried to be understanding. I really did.
I knew he was always stressed because he was going to graduate from college two years later than his peers.
And I knew he felt insecure about not being as rich and successful as “everyone else.”
But one can only take so much, and after so many years, I just couldn’t anymore.
It’s hard to keep showing up with warmth and patience when the other person not only doesn’t appreciate you but even attacks you for being “naive in the face of reality.”
(Yeah, he’d somehow convinced himself that I was in denial about my lack of success—as if the only way to react to failure were to get angry and frustrated.)
If you’ve always tried your best to be kind and gentle, you too might have been in a similar situation and wondered at least once, “Why bother?”
Because even though we don’t expect trophies or medals, a complete lack of appreciation can become difficult to accept after a while, and a simple “thank you” can start to matter more than we wish it did.
I’ll admit that, because of Andy, I almost gave up on being a kind person multiple times.
Luckily, I didn’t, and in the months that led to my difficult decision, I learned some important lessons on how to stay kind even when it starts to feel like there’s no point to it.
I hope these lessons will help you stay true to yourself, too.
1. Make sure you’re not using kindness as a bargaining chip.
Just as positivity can become toxic, there is such a thing as a harmful way of sharing kindness.
Here’s what I mean.
In my teenage years, I used to be what some would call a “nice guy.”
You know, the type of guy who prides himself on being nice, except he’s really not.
In typical “nice guy” fashion, I treated kindness as a transaction. (”I’m doing all these things for them, so they should do the same for me” was a typical thought always floating in my mind.)
I would be nice and generous to others, but I would always compare what they did for me to what I had done for them.
Then, if they didn’t reciprocate in a way that I found satisfactory, I would secretly start to resent them.
It’s not my proudest memory, but it shows how even something positive like kindness can be weaponized.
And it’s not just “nice guys” who do that, either.
Many parents make the same mistake: they try to guilt their children into showing gratitude or obedience by bringing up all the sacrifices they’ve made for them.
Of course, all this does is make the kids feel bad and even distrustful, as they may start to wonder whether their parents’ sacrifices were made out of love or selfish motives.
Because when kindness is given conditionally, it stops being about helping—it becomes about satisfying one’s desperate need for appreciation.
Needless to say, this is unhealthy for all parties involved.
That’s why it’s best to…
2. View kindness as an expression of who you are.
It’s easy to forget—especially when it goes underappreciated for too long—that kindness should be, fundamentally, an expression of yourself.
You are kind because it’s who you are, not because you want someone else’s approval.
When I look back on my friendship with Andy, I’m obviously not happy about all the times he attacked my self-esteem, dismissed my feelings, and put cracks in our relationship without a second thought. However, I can at least be proud that I didn’t let that break me and instead stayed strong.
Because that’s what this is about.
Being kind, even in the absence of thanks, is an act of self-respect.
It’s not about wanting others to notice.
It’s about staying true to yourself, regardless of how unappreciative others might be.
3. Remember you’re allowed to withdraw your kindness.
Kind people always struggle with this.
We worry that if we quit going above and beyond for someone, it might mean that we’re not good people anymore.
This is why it took me so many years to finally stop being best friends with Andy: I was afraid of being told I wasn’t really kind after all.
I didn’t want that to happen, so I kept being as generous as possible, despite how often he hurt me.
For years, I kept cooking, doing the dishes, vacuuming, mopping, and doing all sorts of chores that normally would be divided equally among roommates.
I wanted to do my best to give him as much time and space to focus on his studies (although I was in his same situation and had my own studying to do).
I refused to see that he didn’t plan on treating me any better.
In fact, years before, he’d already made it clear he didn’t believe I deserved to be repaid for all the things I did.
Yet, I just let him disrespect me and hurt me and kept being kind to him. Because kindness shouldn’t be conditional, right? Because it should just be an expression of yourself, right?
But here’s what I now understand: just because you shouldn’t expect people to treat you well in exchange for your kindness, it doesn’t mean you should accept being treated badly.
There’s a limit to how much thanklessness you can tolerate before it starts eating you up inside.
You have every right to pause or withdraw your kindness when you’re being treated poorly. This is about setting healthy boundaries. You’re not being selfish or arrogant.
I can’t believe how long it took me to realize that unconditional doesn’t mean boundaryless.
Kindness with zero boundaries isn’t kindness at all but self-abandonment.
There’s nothing noble about completely neglecting yourself just to be as generous as possible to someone else.
Be kind because that’s who you are, but don’t let yourself be taken for granted.
4. Don’t let negative people convince you to quit.
We all know people who are never content with feeling miserable by themselves, so they try to make others feel just as miserable.
And when they keep criticizing you for being a “goody two-shoes” just because you have a positive attitude, it’s hard to stay unperturbed.
You may even start to question yourself and if you should maybe stop being a positive person.
But let me assure you: letting negative people decide what kind of person you should be and what kind of life you should live is NEVER a good idea.
Because, again, some people just want to tear others down.
You could change your whole personality and become exactly like them, and they would still criticize you and judge you.
Why? Because the reason they hurt others in the first place is that they’re (unsuccessfully) wrestling with their own problems.
It’s not about you being “too nice” or “fake.” It’s about them not being able to find it in themselves to be patient and generous and always choosing to just lash out instead.
Good people are never going to criticize you for being kind.
Even if they believed that your brand of kindness might not be pleasant in some instances, they’d just tell you. They wouldn’t try to make you feel bad.
Stay True to Yourself
When kindness feels thankless, it’s easy to wonder if it’s even worth it—especially if the thanklessness comes from someone we care about.
I’ve been there more times than I can count, and yes, it always feels awful.
But kindness isn’t merely a way to please others—it’s how we respect ourselves.
You have the right to press PAUSE or STOP when someone disrespects you too much.
You don’t have to let others take you for granted just because you’re worried they might have something to say about your genuineness.
Because, honestly, what if they did?
You don’t need their approval.
You’re kind because you’re kind. It’s that simple.
Paolo writes about habits, happiness, self-esteem, and anything that can improve one’s life. He believes that failure is not an insurmountable obstacle to success but an integral part of it and that most failures are really just “successes in progress.” You can join his weekly newsletter here.
As Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and researcher, shared on Luke Coutinho’s podcast, she sees the mother-in-law syndrome in clients not just from the United States, but also from Latin America, the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Across cultures, the root cause is often the same—blurred boundaries, generational trauma, and unspoken expectations around control, respect, and hierarchy.
To get a better understanding of what this looks like in everyday life, Reddit user Magnoliabluebell_ asked everyone on the platform to share the most unhinged things their MILs have ever said. The replies they’ve received show that while the details may change from one family or culture to another, the emotional weather pattern is eerily familiar.
#1
My first baby was a super preemie, 26 weeks. NICU for 116 days. Murphy’s law baby the entire stay. MIL called me one morning and said “stop going to the hospital! If you stop going, my son will stop going because he shouldn’t have to go through this with THAT baby!”
I cussed her so bad she showed up at NICU waiting area with food for us. I dumped it in the trash in front of her and walked away. DH told her to go home. Thirty two years later we are still VLC.
It has to be the time when she told us that she *will* be raising our baby and if I’m a good little girl, she may see her way into letting us visit
We were firmly in our 40s, this was going to be our one and only after 20 years and the baby was so very much wanted by my husband and I. There was no way on this green earth I was just going to blindly pass off my baby for someone else to raise.
Me in my early 40’s trying for a second child In the midst of my 8th failed IVF egg collection & two failed pregnancies, she tells me “having an only child is the cruelest thing a mother could do”. Then, when finally and amazingly pregnant, she tells me “most IVF children have neurological problems”. Vile shrew.
She told me I was a terrible hostess when they visited and we didn’t take them out to make the most of their time. For context, we were stationed in Germany at the time, and her and my FIL bought tickets against our request to meet our newborn. They landed in country the day we were discharged from the hospital so my husband had to drop us off at home to drive 2 hours to pick them up from the airport.
I’m sorry my unplanned C-section was inconvenient for her plans to be a tourist /s
And no, they didn’t come to be helpful or all the nice things I hear family members doing for a post partum mom. lol.
My MIL was massively Bipolar and had separation anxiety. I acted as her caretaker off and on for over 8yrs. When my ex left me for another woman I began making arrangements to move back to my home state as the only people I knew in that state were my ex’s family and his then best friend. I warned my FIL ahead of time so we could deal with her issues beforehand.
My MIL ended up finding out that I was leaving and broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. My ex’s now former best friend helped me move out that same day. As we were taking out the last of my belongings she threatened to hurt herself with a pair of scissors. My FIL encouraged me to leave and told me that he’d take care of things. Both my MIL and FIL ended up having to go to the E.R. after she hurt herself and my FIL. Despite being blocked on everything and living over 3000 miles away she kept attempting to contact me for the next 2yrs. I still have nightmares about that woman.
Similar situation – I had made mention to my wife about having a second child and my MIL chimes in from across the room with “oh no. Y’all are not having a second one.” I was absolutely speechless that someone else thought they could tell me how many children I can have.
This was said by fil, but mil said absolutely nothing! My hubby is an only child. We went over to their house to tell them that he had cancer. His Dad said “well, you won’t get any sympathy from me!”.
” my husband and I have been speaking about it the last few months, and I just wanted you to know that we have accepted it the best we can, and feel it’s OK for you to have this baby ”
Thank God i had her majesty’s permission, holding her in with keegal exercises until she could walk out wanted by these people was presenting a challenge for me.
#10
When I had my 2nd baby, she told me that PPD was not a real thing. She was actually mad at me for being so emotional It took her oldest son (my husband’s brother) to have a long talk with her for her to be civil with me. She still doesn’t believe it to this day… Even though I’m taking medication right now for severe PPD after having my 4th baby.
My husband (31M) and I (31F) eloped in October. We showed MIL photos from elopement on Christmas. Her only comment to us directed toward me : “You look like a witch.” I’m done with her.
“I hope she doesn’t turn out gay because she’ll go straight to hell. But she is beautiful.”
“I know she won’t take a bottle, but I go home and cry because I can’t bottle-feed her.”
I have soooo many of these.
#15
I had just injured my shoulder and was facing potential need for surgery (we were waiting to find out). I also happened to be in between jobs. I was lightly searching for jobs, but being unable to move my arm, I wasn’t exactly too focused on finding a job, I was more focused on what I was going to do if I ended up needing serious surgery (in which case I wouldn’t be able to work a job anyways).
She comes over and asks how my job search is going, and just seemed pushy about the idea of me making sure I got a job. I asked her “don’t you understand why I might not be prioritizing a job right now? I might be needing a very serious surgery soon.” She literally says to me “well I guess it’s just a matter of how we grew up. I grew up on a farm where we just worked through our injuries.”.
I terminated a pregnancy after tests showed a fatal chromosome disorder. “Oh, that’s too bad, I was looking forward to being a grandmother!”
(I have had a much easier time dealing with my MIL since a therapist friend told me that her emotional development probably stalled out when she got pregnant with my husband as a teenager. Now I only expect the level of emotional maturity you’d get from a 17yo and our relationship has been much improved.).
#17
That my child only had her and Dh DNA. She was serious, for the next 2 decades so far. Still says it.
She trained as a teacher so no, she’s not stupid, Nor a ignorant village girl, just a good actor when needed.
That would be when MIL started hinting about grandchildren about a week after the wedding. (We are both 47, and I got my tubes tied at age 35.) I just laughed.
My mother in law blamed me for getting pregnant on purpose, our pregnancy was unplanned. She said don’t make another persons son a villain in your story. Then continually called my baby a sin.
My favorite was when MIL told me she won’t be babysitting my child. I was pregnant at the time. She stated she was working full time and enjoyed her time off. This was while she was watching SIL’s daughter, which she did for 5 hours every week while SIL & hubby went to dinner and bowling.
We made sure we never needed her to babysit, and she begged a few years later to take our kids overnight. The kids were old enough to say it wasn’t fun spending the night there, so they never did again.
When our kids were teens, I was going with hubby on a work trip, so she did stay at our home to make sure the kids were fine. She was pissed I had the meals all planned out and they just needed to pull something out of the freezer and pop in the micro. She went ahead, bought and made the kids dinner one night and the kids suffered through her cooking.
She is probably turning in her grave that hubby and I have been married for 41 years now and still haven’t had our marriage blessed by a Priest.
#22
Probably when she texted my husband at 3am threatening to call CPS on us because she felt like our twins had speech issues that needed to be tested. They were just barely 2.
Oooh so many to choose from! 1. I had really hoped my son would bring home a different kind of woman. 2. I know he loves you, but he could do so much better 3. When she met our son she said thank you three times. Not congratulations. Thank you. 4. It has always been my dream to be part of a birth. Awkward silence while she stared at me. I was 23 at the time. She said this one on a yearly basis.
My MIL said we shouldn’t adopt as they wouldn’t be real grandchildren.
#25
Whenever our families would meet and I wore makeup she’d say “oh you did your makeup? I’m barefaced today (slaps her own face) I’m too busy I don’t have time to wear makeup…you look nice though…” she’d repeat this until I or DH will acknowledge the comment.
I’ve always had my nails done with my natural nail length and just gel on top or dip powder and MIL went once to an apprentice to get hers done because it was cheaper. She went for acrylic to make them longer too. They didn’t last long on her and she commented “your nails always look lovely, mine didn’t last very long…I guess I work too hard and they just fell off”
When DH and I got engaged she’d repeatedly say how he wanted to marry her when he was a child and how his sister wants a man just like him and won’t settle for less.
During my maternity leave with my second child she’d have the habit of showing up unannounced and have coffee to “catch up”. Bare in mind I was recovering from a c section that had ripped open and infected because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t let my body heal properly. Well one of those times she came in with an Apple Watch and I was complementing her on it. She then said “oh I’ve taken 17000 steps today, I work so hard. I wonder how many steps you’re taking lately…”
Like that I have plenty of other examples. We are NC going on 2 years now.
#26
I can’t remember them all, but here are some
1. Looked right at me before looking at her son and saying in the most cringe, disgusting way possible, “That’s my baaabyyy,” referring to our daughter. I half laughted, half puked in my mouth to myself. Looking back, I should have laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it. She’s always wanted a fourth child but couldn’t because her and her husband couldn’t financially, so she’s jealous and wants a do over as well.
2. After coming back from a stay cation, she said, “But it’s not like you missed your daughter, I mean, you didn’t miss her, did you?” She wants to play mommy so badly!
3. (In the same day) “I wish I could raise her and then give her back when she’s pre-teen because that’s a nightmare age and I don’t want to deal with that” She loves my daughter so much!
Your dad is the ok kind of brown because your kids will look white….
#29
My MIL wrapped her fingers around my oldest daughter’s wrist then says, ( to her oldest granddaughter) “you have big wrists! You must have inherited your mother’s peasant genes.” She did this in front of me. My daughter was 6. As if she gerself is descended for royalty. Her mother was a seamstress and her father was a stevedore.
#30
“Well if you don’t want kids I guess I’ll just have to work on convincing [him]” talking about her son – my partner of 8 years, who also has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want kids either.
Bonus points because this was said at a family BBQ in front of her entire family.
During my pregnancy before we found out the gender she said to me “hope it’s not a girl, they always get SA’D” …. 4 days later we found out we were having a girl.
#34
My MIL very aggressively asked me why I refer to my son, as “my son” (as a term of endearment) that he’s not just my son, he’s my partners too. I said of course he is, I never said he wasn’t partners. It’s said with no malicious intent, just a pet name I guess? She lost it. Same women who would constantly bring up my partner ex of 11 years ago and was told to “get over it” once my discomfort was expressed. Lady, you’re the one who’s bringing her up! I could go on for days honestly 😅.
Not to me, but within my hearing. After 6+ yrs of infertility, i just found out I was finally pregnant with my 2nd. MIL decided to say that I should terminate it because we couldn’t afford another kid (2002 combined income was over $170k/yr.).
I had just given mine a 4 year old suv, paid off in full. My baby was 4-6 months ish. She told me if I thought more with my brain and less with my belly I would be thin by now… I had just opened my first business also and that’s what she was worried about… she also gifted me with diet pills…. Mind you post partum I was a size 6….
#37
Wow! If you keep dieting you might be smaller than me someday. I wore a size 2, she wore a size 14.
#38
As I was pouring milk in my 2 year old’s sippy cup…. “That’s a lot of milk there, mom.” It was literally a standard-sized sippy cup of milk. Meanwhile, when my kids are at her house, she lets my daughter have 3 cups of lemonade, overfeeds my kids, and loads them up with sweets. 🤦🏻♀️.
#39
“Why would you buy ….., you both will eventually split and then how will you share it?”
“Small people tend to have a different kind of body shape. It all just seems compressed.”.
#40
MIL said to me “your children are not as special to me as my daughter’s children. It just not the same. A DIL’s children are just not as special.” She said this about her son’s daughters.
#41
I told my mother I was pregnant with our PLANNED pregnancy, my second. She said, with ice dripping off her voice, “Oh, I thought you were done.”.
When I was pregnant for the second time my MIL POS told me that they didn’t need another grandchild as they already had one (my eldest) 🤯 She couldn’t have mine over night until they were out of nappy’s (so never had them). Once her daughter had kids they were staying overnight asap. Her loss. My boys are fantastic.
#43
My MIL is a very strange individual. She doesn’t think before she says anything. On numerous occasions she’s called me fat but here are a few that seriously take the cake lol. She’s said a ton of unhinged things to me but for me these are the two most memorable.
1) my husband took my last name as he has no ties to his father and his mother knows this. When naming our Son we chose to name him after my grandfather and to give him My (and now also my husbands) last name. When we told MIL the name of our baby her immediate response to my husband was “Oh, so nothing to tie him to you? That’s sad.”
2) When i was only 5 months postpartum I got pregnant again. Yes i know thats very very early but we are happy. I’m now 31 weeks with twins so that means we are having 3 under 2. When we told MIL she immediately told me “You need to get fixed.” ….. FIXED!!???!?!
Today. She called me sick in the head. Because I refused to let her call an ambulance due to our baby’s boogies. Then called my family to tell them our son was suffering because I don’t take care of him. Told them I do nothing around the house. I am 4 months PP, FTM, c-section with A SICK BABY. I responded to her calling me sick in the head “Okay you won’t see the baby anymore as I’m so sick in the head”.
#45
I’m British, in-laws are French.
MIL was reading an article about the Monster Raving Loony party in the UK. There was a typical quirky unflattering photo of a guy from the party playing the fool. My husband makes a comment on how ugly the guy looks and MIL immediately says “I guess it’s all the inbreeding on the island.”.
#46
Probably the worst one is:
“I tried therapy, but I couldn’t find a therapist who is smarter than me, so therapy doesn’t work on me. It’s a good thing you are in therapy, though!”.
#47
When I had my first baby, the day after she met her, she called me on the phone to say ‘when’s the next time we’re gonna see her, in a year?’ Because I assume she thought she was going to see her first thing next day. And ‘you remind me of the mother of my other grandkids.’ Because I didn’t want the whole house to come over. Oh, and ‘I’m gonna have to steal him and take a nap’ when I had my son.
So, my SO and I have been together for 6 years, and I am in my mid 40’s. His mother and I have talked about the fact that my child bearing days are over. My SO has no biological children of his own and he is a few years younger than me. So a few weeks ago his mom came over and was saying that he should become a father and have some kids and how he would be such a great father… All I kept thinking was with who? Who should he have these kids with? Now she said this with a smile on her face but I knew exactly what she meant. When I talked to her about having another child (I have one grown child) she blatantly told me I was too old to even think about ever having another child. This is what I am dealing with….
#49
My MIL started crying at a family dinner when we announced we were pregnant with baby #3. She was hoping her daughter would get pregnant with her first baby, which happened soon thereafter. How dare we have a third?
God, I have so many stories.
#50
I feel like this is a boomer thing. My mom, my aunt, my MiL, my SiL’s mother are all obsessed with their weight. They all have some form of an eating disorder and constantly talk about their weight or other people’s weight. Without fail if we go out to eat, my mom will push her food around and say, “I used to be 95 lbs.” “I used to be smaller than you.” like no one cares? Literally, no one cares how small you are now or how small you used to be. You were unhealthy then and you’re unhealthy now. Eat some fkn food.
It’s nice to see humans being bros and helping each other out, whether it’d be with minor things like helping someone move homes or something a bit more serious like long-term financial help to keep things afloat. Regardless, it’s a virtue that many of us adhere to because it’s the right thing to do and the world needs more positivity.
However, sometimes being nice turns against us because someone decides to take advantage of our benevolence. You know, like when a person who we’re helping tries to dupe or swindle us to maximize their own personal gain, which ends up being the straw that broke the camel’s back: we lose faith in humanity, and end up never helping anybody at all!
This is the situation that Reddit user u/mofoxx has recently set up for people to consider in his now-viral r/AskReddit post that asks the question “What was your ‘F*** it, done helping others’ moment?” Over 12,000 people responded to it, sharing stories of how they decided that they were done being Mr. Nice Guy or Gal.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best stories and turned them into a neat list that you can find below. Go check them out and vote and comment on the ones you liked the most. And while you’re down there, why not also share some of your stories, if you have any!
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#1
One day I found a puppy, dirty, hungry, and just scared and lost. I gave him a good meal, and some love, and went to drop him off at the address on his collar. The dude thanked me, then proceeded to beat the c**p out of the dog (telling me to mind my own business when I tried to get him to stop), carried him by his collar to a 5 ft short chain in a muddy patch with a crappy broken 3-wall “doghouse” where im guessing the dog spent 100% of it’s time. I called the cops, but they did nothing (the dog technically had shelter, which qualifies bc 3 walls and a roof, even if it was filled with holes and it gets 20° at night here.) ps. I stole the dog 3 weeks later.
#2
I was working at a fast food place when I was a student. I usually did overtime to help everyone clean up and close the restaurant until about 1am because we were so understaffed. I guess people got used to me staying late because one night when I was supposed to finish at 11, I overheard some of my colleagues (the stereotypical mean girls) say how bad the clients had cluttered everything tonight and how it was going to be a mess to clean up. Then they say ‘but hey, [me] is gonna stay late tonight again, let’s leave it to her, she always does the cleaning anyways’, followed by laughing and some b****** about me. That night I clocked out at 11 after doing all of my tasks at the counter and left. The girls stared at me in shock and when I was outside I saw one of them standing in the middle of the restaurant with her hand on her forehead, looking at the mess she would have to clean before going home. Weirdly, after that day, they started cleaning earlier without waiting for me to do everything!
#3
I was 17 and still in school. The corridors were empty as my teacher sent me out to go do her a job. So I was just walking down the corridor when this girl carrying a bunch of books bumped into me and she dropped the books (like you see in a movie) so I apologise because I wasn’t really paying attention and I bend down and get the books for her and hand them to her expecting at least a small thanks. But no. Instead this chick had to say “I have a boyfriend so never ever purposely bump into me just so I can talk to you. You should’ve walked away.” As she begins to turn away I grab her shoulder which makes her turn around and I knock the books out of her hand and say “now that was on purpose” and I walked away whilst she was stood there speechless. Some of you may think that was messed up but I don’t really regret a single bit of it as she got was she deserved.
#4
My mother and her new husband had moved into a new place and invited all the “kids” over for Christmas. In previous years we would buy a whole turkey dinner from somewhere so no one (me) had to cook, so imagine my surprise when my husband and I walk in, my mother walks out of the kitchen, hands me a spoon and says, “Good, you’re finally here”, and goes to sit down in the living room. After a quick and awkward conversation, it was determined that my job was to make sure everything currently in progress (or not even started) got to the table on time, while everyone else socialized. Basically, I was the help and should have realized that, so any feelings I had about that were my fault. I was a good cook, and my mother taught me everything (not) so I owed her. So I did, and not knowing the family dynamics, my new step siblings were very thankful and appreciative of all my efforts, which caused a meltdown from my mother about how we all should be thanking HER. That was the first time I used a phrase that has come in handy for these situations, “I’m so sorry, it will never happen again.” And it never did. They weren’t happy when they finally realized what that meant.
#5
When a “good” friend of mine that I worked under had cancer and wasn’t able to pay some bills I loaned her $200 just to help. I was only 18 at the time and felt bad because she had kids, it was right around the holidays and was I just wanted to help however I could and be a good person in life. She promised to pay me back when she could. Turns out she lied about having cancer, was stealing from the company I worked at, scammed my other co workers, and would come in after calling out of work for her chemo to make fraudulent returns while I was overseeing the store by myself because of her calling out. Got that b**** fired and got promoted to her position after
#6
I had a 7′ couch I didn’t want to move, so I put it out on the front lawn with a sign that said “FREE.” A guy came by and said, “I’ll be right back to pick this up.” I changed the sign to “SOLD” and he never came back. Hauled the couch back out to the front lawn next week with a “FREE” sign. Another guy came by and said he wanted the couch. I told him, “Give me $10 and I’ll hold it for you.” He handed me a $10 bill and was back in 15 minutes with a pickup truck. I gave him back his $10. People are nicer when they’ve got skin in the game.
#7
This is more specific to the teeny-tiny town I used to live in. Used to believe I was valued by the community. Used to actually believe in that community spirit, that soul, if you will. I had seen it and participated in it. When I left my marriage of almost 13 years, there had been about ten years of domestic violence. I well and truly thought the community would help me out if I needed it and reached out, as I had seen so many other times in the 15 years I had lived there. Nope, got quite the opposite. Nobody believed me. People who I thought were friends disappeared. People who I thought were friends played the, ‘It wasn’t really that bad was it?’ card. People that I thought I could trust to help keep me safe by not tell anyone where I was living went straight to my abuser with that info. Hardly anyone would even speak to me, even just to say hi, when I needed acknowledgement most. F*** all of those f****.
#8
We have helped out my sister n law a few times with money/bills. Never a lot, $50 here, $100 there. Usually for some bill to avoid services being cut off. I’m usually the more heartfelt one in my marriage, but I ended up being the one to put my foot down. Went over to her apartment once. She had two big flat screen TVs, new couch, new fridge, kids on PlayStation or whatever console she got them. It was all Rent-a-Center stuff, but that was the end for me. I didn’t have any of those things myself, not to mention the incredibly bad financial decision those things were with the high interest rate. Part of me felt like I was taking food out of her kids mouths, but realized that no, her poor decisions was doing that.
#9
Had a newish neighbor ask if he could borrow our lawn mower….sure. Well more or less every week he would come and get it out of our garage, use it to cut his grass, put it away without cleaning it or adding gas. In the fall we “mentioned” it was a good time to get deals on a new mower. He never talked to us again.
#10
Partner and I moved provinces, only family in our new area is partners aunt and uncle and their kids about an hour from us. They invited us down for Christmas a few years ago. Nothing too fancy, just family. Cool. They’re pretty religious and we’re pretty gay, so I’m always a touch hesitant spending a lot of time, but it was Christmas and family and yadda yadda yadda. We get there and I ask if they need any help with anything, just general good guest stuff. The aunt then reveals that the reason they invited us was for me to help in the cooking of the turkey and sides. I’m a good cook, and I don’t mind helping out and she’s not the most confident cook so it’s not a huge deal. So I follow her to the kitchen and nothing has been done. Like. Turkey is still in the plastic. She says the oven is a bit finicky and that she’ll leave me to it. Like. Literally expected me to come and cook them the whole Christmas dinner. My partner was out in the yard with his cousins playing on a frozen pond, his aunt and uncle were drinking in their living room, and I’m pretty well being treated as the help for the next few hours. Partner comes in and sees me in the kitchen, comes and chats and realizes the reason we got invited was for me to cook for them. He’s p****d. I’m just carrying on. I serve up dinner, we eat, and then we leave right away. A couple days later he chews his aunt out on the phone and we haven’t seen them since. Evidently in the call she had made some comment about not abiding by our “lifestyle choice” but made an exception cuz of the way my partners mother raved about my cooking.
#11
Was donating baby/toddler clothes to a mom in need through one of those Facebook donating pages. She didn’t have a car, I did so I drove 30 minutes away to deliver the stuff all for free. Got in a bad accident less than 5 blocks from her house. So I texted her to see if she could come get what she was able to because my car was totaled. She wouldn’t walk the 4 blocks then reported me to the group and got me kicked out for “not following through”. I ended up with a fractured sternum, yeah F*** that s***, never again.
#12
A “friend” of mine borrowed a game off me once. About month later I remembered an asked for it. he told me he couldn’t give it back because he gave it to his younger brother for his birthday … would have asked for money but i knew it would have been difficult and the way I saw it, was easier to just lose him as a friend. His friendship was worth less than the value of a cheap game
#13
The day I realized that no one wanted to help me in return. Look it’s not about doing something for someone to get something back and I will ALWAYS help whoever I can that needs it. But when the same people consistently ask for help or money or what have you, without actually wanting to help you when you need it, or just hang out or be friendly in general, it’s a huge red flag.
#14
Met a guy who had hit a rough patch. We had great chemistry and he made me laugh (ugh the bar was SO low). He gave me a sob story of why he was getting kicked out of his communal house and I offered to let him stay with me because I live alone and have my own place. HUGE MISTAKE! He hadn’t hit a rough patch, he was the rough patch. Barely paid for anything and would get wasted while I was at work and be a total a*s hole when I got home. Got fired from his job, ate all the food I’d buy and make excuses as to why he hadn’t found another job yet. The absolute kicker was when I went home for my Nonna’s funeral, he treated it like a mini vacation in my place. Invited friends over, played music so loud the cops got called and when he was supposed to pick me up from the airport, he was wasted at someone’s house at 8 am. Never felt better than the day I kicked him out. No more financial and emotional abuse. Finally felt like my place was mine again. I’ve learned an expensive lesson. Don’t help people that won’t help themselves. When nothing is their fault, there’s a serious issue. Run fast and far.
#15
I’m a teacher. A parent of a former student contacted me in an emergency situation, couldn’t afford to pay bills, and needed help. She was super helpful to me in my first year teaching, so I asked friends and family to help out and raised her about $2,000. Never again. She has contacted me every few weeks since then, always with a new reason why she needs more money (and when I offer food and clothing resources, she refuses it). It has placed me in such an awkward situation and I regret ever trying to help her out in the first place
#16
We were asleep one night with window open. We wake up bc there is a couple walking down the road arguing. The girl is closer than the guy. Next thing we know the girl is banging on door begging to come in. We call police. They get there and couple gone. They tell us that’s a common ruse being used in area to get you to open door so they can rob you.
#17
When my dad was moving out of state, he listed a bunch of stuff for free on Craigslist that he just wanted to get rid of. One of the things was a fairly nice Weber charcoal grill and some guy emailed him and demanded multiple pics from every angle and that the grill be deep cleaned before he’d take it. My dad didn’t even reply and just blocked the guy. An hour later, someone else said they’d take it if it was still available and my dad was more than happy to give it away to them.
#18
Worked in Baton Rouge for a decade (1999-2009) and would regularly give the homeless I saw around town – generously if I can say that without being a d****e bag. In 2008 I was on a run for work and a guy caught me near the Target on Siegen lane. He had nothing he was homeless and on top of it had been robbed an hour ago. No worries, empty my wallet for the man, we all need help. Coming out of the shopping complex I see him hiding in the bushes opening a pack of smokes on a laptop while on his iPhone. Then a month later, saw a man I regularly donated to on Government street. I would catch him on weekends – but this weekend my drop-offs started early so I saw him as he arrived in downtown BR. I sat behind the TV station waiting for a pick-up, and this cat gets out of a new car, changes into dirty clothes and grabs his sign from the trunk and heads off to his corner. I have given food and connected people with charities, but I have not given a penny to a “beggar” since then.
#19
I lived next to someone just like this. 2 young kids, very friendly, then they just take advantage of you. I made the mistake of telling them I was a nanny and offering to babysit all of one time. After that it was seriously at least once a day they’d drop of their kids. It wasn’t even like the kids were easy. 2 kids, still in diapers, who were little terrorizers. I finally told them to f*** off after they yelled at me for not being available. They knocked on my door, left their 2 young kids waiting there, and peaced out. I wasn’t even there. Cops were called after a toddler in nothing but her diaper was wandering the apartments.
#20
This is so f*****, I had a female friend who told me she had cancer as well and I told her I would help take her to treatments etc, turns out she didn’t..she was just trying to get close to me to break up my marriage. People are so f*****.
#21
The same thing happened to my Mom when she finally left my Dad. I was far too young to understand it at the time, but her hometown just up and turned their back on her! In some cases even her own family, no one believed her, accused her of lying. and would report her every move back to my Dad. It got so terrible she ended up leaving her hometown behind and moving somewhere completely new.
#22
In freshman year of college, my friend of about two years got kicked out of his parents house. He said he needed somewhere to stay “for the night” till his parents cooled off. I said you can stay a week if you want but more than that and you’ll need to pay me rent (he made pretty good money, more than me even). I was kind of hoping to find someone to split the bills with anyway. A week rolls by and he hasn’t even looked for another place. His parents aren’t letting him come back. I ask him if he’s going to stay, he says “if it’s alright with you” I say sure, just pay me half the cost of the apt every month. He said he can’t (I know d**n well he can). I say “well then you gotta go” He asked if he could stay another week. I said no. He got p****d at me for that. I then got p****d at him for getting p****d at me. I gave you a place to stay and you are mad at me??? Totally ended the friendship. Never let anyone into your place unless you have a signed contract
#23
Somebody put one one of those “free items” sites on Facebook that she needed an outdoor playscape thing for her kids who were going crazy during quarantine. My kids are now older, but we had this cool plastic Little Tykes “fort” that was in great shape (those things are beasts). It had a slide and a little play area. Perfect for the age her kids were. I drive a pickup so even offered to deliver it. She went full [beggar mode] on me and said she was looking for a more elaborate one with more things to do. Like the giant wooden ones. Good luck lady. I’m done with you all.
#24
When I had a truck during college. EVERYONE suddenly wanted me to help move them. Most were cool and gave me money or ordered pizza (unprompted btw). One time however some dude I barely knew needed some help. I show up, and nothing is packed in his apartment. He had a giant fish tank and lived on the 3rd floor with no elevator. It was a f****** nightmare and I never got a dime nor food or even some beers. I never talked to him after that.
#25
I used to help people plan their trips to Japan. It was very hard to get started on my own so I offered weeks of free consulting to a few people in exchange for a review at the end of their trip. I made their itineraries, wrote a tailored culture guide for each, booked their hotels / restaurants, gave them recommendations, etc. Only one person out of 8 actually wrote a review.
#26
After working free of charge as a freelance graphics guy to build my portfolio up, and having a client basically make the most minor of adjustments, and constant revisions – four posters which should have taken me a day tops really….ended up taking 3 months. And when they wanted poster x4, I wanted money – ghosted. Lesson. Learnt.
#27
Had a new manager come in to my former place of employment. Immediately this new manager starts firing people for bulls**** reasons and hiring people from her old job to replace them. The walls in that place talked, and few notice the janitor, so when I heard rumors of the next heads on the chopping block, one of which was mine, I decided to be nice and help out the other two. I considered them good friends, and it was the least I could do, right? I warn one, and he takes it seriously and begins looking for another job, so when the pink slip arrived, he landed on his feet running. The other promptly goes squealing to the manager in question, who uses that as an excuse to fire me, and THEN fires the person that had squealed. All three jobs were quickly filled by her old friends from her previous job. I’ve refused to lift a finger to help a coworker out since. I’ve had advanced warnings of firing and disciplinary hearings and various other juicy gossip (People for some reason think I hear with my eyes and assume that they can talk in front of me and I won’t notice. I’m going blind, people, not deaf.) but I’ve kept it all to myself. F*** ’em.
