Every December, neatly wrapped gifts are quietly kept under the tree, tiny jewelry boxes are tucked away in Christmas socks, and shopping bags sit waiting to be opened.
These presents, for many couples, become less about the gift and more about what it says about their relationship.
While many of us romantically say, “it’s the thought that counts,” most of us know that’s only true when there actually is some thought involved.
For some couples, there could be silent messages hidden inside Christmas presents
Christmas presents can become emotional litmus tests in relationships, carrying clues about the emotional investment, effort, and the state of the relationship itself.
“Holiday gifts, for some, carry symbolic weight; They are seen as something so personal, special, something that is an investment (whether it be time or monetary value) that a person uses to showcase their love or admiration to another,” Alyssa Mairanz, owner and licensed clinician from Empower Your Mind Therapy, told Bored Panda.
“Because it’s an occasion that comes up just once a year, it becomes a moment to show your love – that you are listening and understand their interests, desires and put some deep thought and effort into buying the gift,” she added.
Christmas is a time when people generously open up their hearts and wallets, with American consumers spending an average of $902 on gifts and holiday items each Christmas, according to data from the National Retail Federation (NRF).
But that kind of spending puts pressure on what a gift should mean. Moreover, for the receiver, a gift could be enough to feel overlooked, unappreciated, or hurt.
Some gifts end up feeling thoughtless, last-minute or simply disappointing
In a survey of nearly 1,000 Americans conducted last year by DatingNews, 1 in 3 (37%) respondents said they feel gift-giving puts too much pressure on romantic relationships.
2 in 3 respondents said gift-giving reflects their feelings for their partner, and 65% think a present reflects how their partner feels about them.
Furthermore, 44% of the respondents reported being disappointed by a holiday gift from their significant other, with women (54%) experiencing disappointment more frequently than men (30%).
Not every disappointing present is automatically a red flag, even if it’s something last-minute, impersonal, or overly practical.
Alyssa clarified, “context is key” with every situation.
“For instance, when it comes to gifting something overy-practical, perhaps there was still quite a bit of thought and love that went into the gift and it was coming from a loving place,” she said.
“Such as a nice item for the kitchen in the new home you just purchased together and they know you love to cook.”
Expensive, flashy gifts aren’t always a sign of love and effort
On the other hand, when gifts feel rushed, impersonal, or as if zero effort was put into it, it may hint at something deeper.
“With last-minute or impersonal gifts, this can sometimes be caused by stress, avoidance, lack of or gaps in communication and mismatched expectations in the relationship,” the expert therapist said.
For a lot of people, gifts like shiny jewelry, luxury gadgets, or grand surprises are signs of love. But some experts believe these presents are distraction tactics.
An expensive gift is a cause for concern when it’s meant to push aside the conflict rather than actually repair it.
If a partner uses a flashy present like a “reset” button, instead of addressing the real problem, then it’s not romance. It’s avoidance rapped up in a ribbon.
“An expensive gift can signal trouble when it’s meant to compensate for unresolved conflict,” Ciara Bogdanovic, founder of Sagebrush Psychotherapy, told Bored Panda.
“Instead of engaging in communication, repair, or accountability, the gift is offered as a way to smooth things over without addressing the underlying issue,” she added.
Meaningful gifts come from listening, effort, and healthy communication
On the flip side, gift-giving in relationships can be a beautiful reminder of love, care and attention.
Healthy gifting could be a signal of genuine emotional investment and healthy communication for happy couples, especially when they put some emotional effort behind it.
“Asking someone about their preferences before the gift shows thoughtfulness and care,” Ciara said.
If opening up a present leads to the sting of disappointment, Alyssa suggested pausing to understand your feelings before reacting.
“It’s important to first take some time with your emotions. Why are you hurt or disappointed? Was it caused by a misunderstanding or another context? Is it about the actual gift or the meaning behind it?” she said.
“Explore your emotions around it before approaching the subject,” she added.
It’s possible to have a healthy conversation about a hurtful or disappointing gift
After giving yourself space to process the disappointment, how you choose to talk about it can make all the difference in whether the moment turns into conflict or makes way for a stronger connection.
“Try not to be accusatory, but keep it more conversational and focused on ‘I’ statements to highlight how it made you feel and why,” Alyssa said.
“You can also express gratitude for the gift or thoughts, while also being honest and open about your emotions,” she added. “That can be extremely difficult to do, but is an important part of a healthy relationship.”
If you’re looking for funny and relatable content, look no further! We’re delighted to share the latest comic strips by Mary Park, an artist based in Los Angeles better known on social media as Murzz. You might remember our previous posts featuring some of her earlier works—humorous comics that shed light on the challenges of womanhood and resonated deeply with a wide audience.
From navigating the quirks of daily life to hilariously capturing the ups and downs of long-term relationships, Murzz’s work brings humor to life’s most mundane yet relatable moments. Whether she’s poking fun at self-care routines gone awry or the trials of balancing love and life, her comics have garnered a loyal fanbase who connect with her sharp and witty observations.
We reached out to Mary to gain new insights into her creative process. Curious about how she would introduce her comic series to someone seeing it for the first time, we asked her to describe it in three words. Park responded: “Unserious, relatable, silly.”
If you’re eager to learn more about Murzz’s work, keep scrolling to read our full interview with the cartoonist!
Our next question delved into how Mary creates humor in her work. The cartoonist shared: “I think people have always been able to relate to the way I handle life’s challenges through humor. I just tell my story in my perspective and people have seemed to connect with me.”
Murzz also shared with us some insights about other comic artists whose work and style she admires: “When I was brainstorming Murrz, I wanted to tell my story in a style I loved growing up, inspired by shows like Crayon Shin-Chan, The Sound of Your Heart, and Hamtaro.”
Lastly, we asked Mary which specific strip she has created so far stands out as her personal favorite. She responded: “Yes, my personal favorite has been the one I drew about my parents’ journey as immigrants and in raising us in America.”
We love to talk about the beginning of a relationship. Who had the funnier profile on Tinder, where the first date was, and what it was like to meet the parents. But the end matters, too, as it can also be better or worse — while some breakups are accompanied by tears and hugs and goodbyes, others are a lot more… eventful. To show how far we can go to get even, we put together a list of stories we found on the internet about the revenge people took against their exes. Oof!
Click here & follow us for more lists, facts, and stories.
#1
Okay, this is going to sound cruel, but hear me out. After he cheated, I was in a rage and was going to throw all his belongings from my place in the garbage. My friend encouraged me to set them on fire, but I had a better idea. I live in a city where he also lives and works within the same few blocks. A lot of the homeless folks are familiar and tend to stick around their common areas of our blocks.
I took all of his clothes and sneakers, and things, and put them in a box near my alley where the homeless folks hang out, wrote a sign saying take what you’d like. So the folks got a whole new nice wardrobe and are rocking his clothes he would recognize when he’s walking around work/home. I never spoke to him after the breakup, but I did see the people wearing his jackets and sneakers mostly. I feel like I did a good deed because those people got some nice, expensive clothes to keep warm and feel good! And it gives me satisfaction imagining him realizing these people are all wearing his favorite stuff.
Ex was a “vinyl DJ”. After he basically treated me really badly one night and we had a huge argument, I got up during the night and took out the vinyls and put them in the wrong sleeves. He had a fair few hundred. Took me ages. I then packed my little overnight bag I kept at his, and left. He was supposed to play a gig the next day. I heard he was raging.
He cheated and knocked the woman up. A couple of weeks later, I was drunk shopping with a friend, and we ran into his mother and sister. I congratulated them. They asked what for? and I said, “The baby!” His sister was shocked. His mom thought something was up because he had made some strange comments. When he found out they had heard his news from me, he was livid! Omg, it was great.
My then BF had a favorite T-shirt that he had bought overseas years ago. That shirt was wearing out, and although he had looked high and low for years, he was never able to find the shirt again. He loved that shirt. I mean, loved.
His birthday was coming up. I used to be a graphic designer, so I easily reproduced that beloved shirt and had a few made up in multiple colors for him, and one for me. Then I found out that he was cheating, and we broke up. I started dating someone soon after.
Being petty about what happened, I gifted one of those T-shirts I made to my new guy, telling him the story. We took a photo together of both of us wearing the shirts and posted it on social media. The ex saw the post of us in the shirts and freaked. He contacted me asking me where I found the shirts. I told them that I had made them for his birthday, too bad, so sad, but other than gifting one to my new BF, I had since given all of the rest of them to Goodwill. He was absolutely furious. I thought he might cry. So petty. So worth it.
My sister told an ex that no one would marry him because no one would put up with his [nonsense]. She recently got an invite in the mail to his wedding; he had written something like “You were wrong” on it. She RSVPed yes. When he got the reply card, he texted her frantically asking her if she was serious because he didn’t intend for her to go (and his soon-to-be-wife didn’t know he had invited my sister). She said of course and then said she was going to wear white. He’s been texting her every few days begging her not to go so he doesn’t have to explain himself.
Don’t get into a petty war with my sister. Nothing is beneath her.
My ex cheated on me. I turned his best friend against him simply by telling him everything he did. It wasn’t nuclear in intention, but he lost his entire friend group over it. And props to his best friend and all his other friends who actually refused to tolerate how he treated his girlfriends.
Went through his Netflix continue watching section and changed all his shows to the last episode of the last season, so that he lost track of his shows and hopefully had something spoiled for him.
My first boyfriend. He went from calling me every night to completely ghosting me out of nowhere with no explanation. It left teenage me devastated. He reached out, out of the blue, a couple years later. He tried pretending as if we just had a falling out and said he missed me and wanted to meet up. So I humored him, let him get all excited for a date, we agreed on a time and place, he texted me that he was there, and then I ghosted him and never replied back.
Found out boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me again, after he swore the first time was isolated and “it would never happen again.” (I was so stupid for taking him back). I didn’t let on that I knew about the other woman.
I planned a fake, “all expense paid” trip to Hawaii a few weeks in advance. He hadn’t had a vacation in many years, so he was super excited. Got his input on hotels, excursions, etc. He arranged the time off work and was all set. Two days before we were supposed to leave, I sent him an explosive text that I knew about Sheri, and the joke’s on him. He was seething, and I loved the thought of him being so sucked in by the excitement of the fake trip and then devastation. That was 20 years ago, I’m in my 50s now, and I still don’t regret doing that.
He dumped me and moved out. He came back a week later for his things. He was moving in with the girl he had been zooming with while we were together. I happily pushed all his [things] into his trunk and then told him I had given his dog away.
Please note. He had acquired this Golden retriever 3 months before. Never walked her, taken her to a vet, or cleaned up a single one of her messes. I was moving out of state and found her a good home that would actually care for her. He was p****d but couldn’t really say anything.
My Ex cheated with a married man. He now lives with her. He is a POS, but anyway, I still have the login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show “Cheaters”. Petty, but it makes me laugh.
Additional info. I also set the show to be manually erased and stop recording 3 hours after the show’s end time.
She was having an affair with her boss. I sent an anonymous email to his manager that I already knew didn’t like him, with proof, making it sound like it was from someone within the company. They both ended up getting fired.
I stole his last bottle of this special imported hot sauce that he had his parents ship him internationally. He put it on everything, and he presumably had to wait a minimum of two months to get a replacement.
He cheated on my birthday and left me at home while he was out trying to meet up with someone. This was after I moved to his country to be with him. I then cut holes in the armpits of all his work shirts, and to give him false hope of ones left untouched, I sneakily sprayed bleach in hidden spots. I then took all the groceries and toiletries I had purchased since he refused to go 50/50 on household items, even though I paid half the rent and car, while making way less. Getting a text a few days later saying “You took all the toilet paper?!!” still has me cackling like Yzma.
I was with my ex-boyfriend for 3 years and never suspected a thing. I fell out of love and eventually broke up with him, and it was pretty amicable. A couple of months later, a girl messaged me on Instagram asking if I dated my ex. I said yes, but we were broken up recently. She lets me know she slept with him for 2 years, to my shock, and so we meet up. She shows me the texts and photos. Luckily, because I fell out of love and wasn’t upset, but she liked him a lot and felt betrayed. He lied about his name, age, job, and identity to fool her (I knew his family well and knew his real identity). We both decide to show up at his apartment and confront him. He was so shocked and tried to explain, but it was too late.
My petty revenge included creating a group chat with him, his mum, and dad, and me, called it ‘cheater’, and sent a paragraph explaining what he did to me right in front of him. I then paid for an anonymous text message service to his number pretending to be the NHS, and that his recent test showed he had a range of STDs. Felt pretty good.
I found out my husband had been carrying on with his coworker for years. I had her street address because of Christmas cards. I sent her an anonymous glitter bomb for Christmas that year. He and I are divorcing. I’m sure she knew who it was from, but I never actually heard about it.
When I broke up with my ex told him to come back in 2 weeks to get the balance of his things. He got [mad] and said he was moving then. So he packed everything in his and his sister’s car when she showed up. Then he left. What he did not know was that I had taken the house key off his keychain. He came back later, trying to get in. But the key did not work, and I disabled the garage door. He had planned this for weeks and wanted me out of the house. It has been 15 years.
When me and my ex-fiancé were having a bunch of arguments after we broke up, I got tired of her constantly texting me about nonsense, so I called -insert phone carrier- to have them cut off service to her phone that I paid for in the middle of an argument.
Found out my “boyfriend” was cheating on me. I was the other woman, lol. He had a girlfriend of 2-3 years. He told me she found out and is mad, but she isn’t breaking up with him, so it’s okay if we keep seeing each other, because he can’t stay away from me. He asked me to go on a date with him.
We went to the zoo. He paid. I told him I wanted all the upgrades. Feeding the animals, the little zoo movie theaters, the novelty cups, everything. It ended up being like $200. Then we got dinner. Ordered the most expensive thing. Said I didn’t like it, so I ordered something else. He paid. $200. Then we went shopping. I wanted “matching shoes because it’s so cute” he paid. $250. The whole night cost about $700-800. He dropped me off, and I blocked him. He’s tried to reach out to me on various social media. As far as I know, they recently got married.
My ex cheated on me, with my best friend, no less, then dumped me and moved out.
She unfortunately forgot to download the latest version of her almost completed Master’s thesis, which included a GB of assorted pictures, necessary PDFs, and materials, from my laptop.
I emptied a whole litter tray, full of sodden, stinking, dirty cat litter, all over the inside of the cheating [j**k’s] car. It was everywhere. Can only imagine how hard that was to clean up.
My ex and I were both petty after our breakup. He mailed back every photo he had of me, and I recycled all his love letters because he didn’t believe in recycling.
I may have cleaned the toilet with her toothbrush multiple times after I found out I was being cheated on the whole time we were together. Crazy how common cheating is.
I convinced my [toxic] ex-boyfriend that I was [gone] by telling him that I had bronchitis and pneumonia (true) and then blocking him on Facebook/not responding to his text messages, etc.
It was probably one of the best pranks I have ever played in my life. I saw him 2 years later at a Christmas party. The look on his face was amazing, because it isn’t like he could say anything.
My gf left me for another man, one month later she hits me up, and one thing leads to another, and we end up hooking up. I eventually ended up sending her new bf proof through texts. She blocked me immediately on everything. Thought it would make me feel better, but it left me even more heartbroken. Such a messy breakup.
I️ got cheated on and the guy went ahead and got engaged to the girl he cheated on me with three weeks after I️ found so I️ faked a pregnancy just to ruin their happy special time and she freaked out horribly and everyone called my phone calling me names (his best friend, his own mother) but I’m like oh…it’s okay if he cheats on me and goes on and has a happy little life while he leaves me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart? Oh no…oh no no no, not on my watch! I️ changed my number after that.
When I realized I was getting divorced, I suddenly became very interested in baking brownies, cookies, and cakes “for my son” but actually to make my ex fat.
I was cheated on by my high-school sweetheart during our 1st year of uni (3-year relationship). We split up, but I persuaded her to get back together to give it another try and make up for the lost trust. When we got back together, I cheated on her in the same circumstances just so she knew how it felt. She was devastated. It was my plan all along to give her a dose of her own medicine. Years later, I do regret it, but at the time, it was “the perfect plan”.
